I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
