and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
