Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
