i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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