can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?