know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.