I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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