my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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