I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
