I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
