Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
