Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
