I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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