Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
