she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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