Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Michael Bay diarrhea
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize