please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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