I want to have your abortion
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
