Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Pants are for mortals
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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