Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
