seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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