If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You have to summon your inner elephant
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila