Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
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Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
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It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.