all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am