I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
