I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
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If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
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Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?