what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
