It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
