So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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