Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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