Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
