Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Found the puke drawer
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
