look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
