whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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