If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
