Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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