You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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