he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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