"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize