i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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