I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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