if you like me you must not know who I am
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
