I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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