My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
