matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
