I don't think brook has ever known best
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
