shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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