Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
