So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
