don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Walk of Shame today included voting.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
