So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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