I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
