just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
