You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
