I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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