On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We have so much sex to catch up on
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
