This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
