i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
