I love black thongs
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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