When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
