What a fucking waste of an outfit
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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