i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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