Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
