It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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